S.O.S. (Stories of Service) - Ordinary people who do extraordinary work
From the little league coach to the former addict helping those still struggling, hear from people from all walks of life how they show up as a vessel for service and drive for transformational change. Hosted by Theresa Carpenter, a 29-year active duty U.S. naval officer who found service was the path to unlocking trauma and unleashing your inner potential.
S.O.S. (Stories of Service) - Ordinary people who do extraordinary work
Inside the Battle to Fix Military Family Care - Jeremy Hilton’s Story | S.O.S. #235
A submariner’s guide to fixing family policy does not begin in a committee room; it begins in a NICU. Jeremy Hilton joins us to share how his daughter’s complex medical needs reshaped his Navy career and pushed him into a mission to reform the Exceptional Family Member Program and modernize Tricare for military kids. He walks through how lived experience can drive real policy change, from filing an IG complaint that actually moved the needle to finding mentors who opened Hill doors and building coalitions that delivered wins like hospice access for military children.
We break down what EFMP is meant to be, a readiness tool for families with medical and educational needs, and why inconsistent execution across services forces too many families to rebuild care at every PCS. Jeremy explains the real cost of each move, from securing specialists to restarting therapies and navigating new school systems. We cover why standardization matters, how a tiered approach could support the most complex cases, and why portability should anchor reform. On Tricare, we address pediatric gaps built into Medicare-based policy, the challenges of aging out, and practical fixes that match how children actually grow and recover.
From MOAA to NMFA, from report language to statutory change, this conversation shows how to frame issues for both political parties without losing the human story. The closing challenge is clear. EFMP staffing, transparent assignments, and care portability are not perks for families. They are national security requirements. Share this with teammates navigating EFMP and tell us what reform should come first.
The stories and opinions shared on Stories of Service are told in each guest’s own words. They reflect personal experiences, memories, and perspectives. While every effort is made to present these stories respectfully and authentically, Stories of Service does not verify the accuracy or completeness of every statement. The views expressed do not necessarily represent those of the host, producers, or affiliates.
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Well, good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Stories of Service podcast for military family month. This is November, and I do not do a lot of shows about military family policy. And today I get to do one of those, and we're really going to hone in on the exceptional uh family EFPM, exceptional family members program, and some of these other issues within the military community that I don't always get a chance to spotlight on. So today I have Jeremy Hilton on the show. Jeremy, how are you doing?
SPEAKER_02:Hey, good morning, Teresa. Really glad to be here and thank you for highlighting this really important issue.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. No, thank you so much. I have known Jeremy long before my podcast days, back when I was an advocate for the commercial breeding of animals, not for the breeding, but for safe and responsible and ethical ways of breeding animals and also within the military family, how people can keep and hold on to their pets. And then I transitioned in advocacy to doing more military advocacy. That's what a lot of people don't know who are new to the Stories of Service podcast, is that this has been something I have been doing ever since about 2010. And Jeremy and I were friends on Facebook for years when he was in the military spouse space and he was just getting his uh start in advocacy. So it's wonderful after all this time to have him on. So today, um, as I say, welcome to the Stories of Service podcast. I believe this is episode 235. And to get this uh show started, as we always do, an intro from my father, Charlie Pickard.
SPEAKER_00:From the moment we're born and lock eyes with our parents, we are inspiring others. By showing up as a vessel of service, we not only help others, we help ourselves. Welcome to SOS Stories of Service, hosted by Teresa Carpenter. Here from ordinary people from all walks of life who have transformed their communities by performing extraordinary work.
SPEAKER_01:And as I said, today we are talking with nationally recognized policy strategist and advocate Jeremy Hilton. He is a former Navy officer and leading voice in reforming systems that support military families. His story is one of service that didn't end when he took off the uniform. After eight years in the Navy, he redirected his mission towards improving quality of life for service members, veterans, and their families through evidence-based policy and advocacy. Today we'll talk about his personal journey as a military spouse and father to a child with complex medical needs, which shaped his drive to change how the military, our states, and communities support families with special needs, from co-founding the Tricare for Kids Coalition to serving as a regional liaison for the Department of Defense's Defense State Liaison Office. He has influenced policy at every level, local, state, and national. Welcome again, Jeremy.
SPEAKER_02:Thanks, Teresa. It's really great to be here. By the way, I love what your father said. And I can't help but think of uh with the the the quote from Travis Mannion, you know, if not me, then who? Right? That's what it's all about.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Well, my father set that example. He never knew a stranger. He was always so kind to everyone, and he really instilled in me to do the right thing even when nobody is looking. And I am very grateful that I had his influence as a child growing up. So, as I always start these shows, uh, where were you born and raised and what inspired your desire to join the Navy?
SPEAKER_02:Sure. So um I actually was born in Virginia. Uh my family, uh my dad was a dentist. Uh, he moved around for a little bit as he got his practice started. Uh, and then we landed in Huntsville, Texas, uh, which is you know just north of Houston. Uh, went to high school there. Um, I had really not a lot of exposure to the military. My primary exposure was probably from my grandfather who served in World War II. Uh, he was part of the Army Air Corps. Uh, he flew C-46s and C-47s over the hump. And so I got to hear a lot of his stories growing up. Um, and then it was an obvious kind of, you know, what do I want to do with my life? And I thought service should be part of it. And so uh actually um was accepted and went to the Air Force Academy. Uh, and then when I graduated the Air Force Academy, rather than putting on blues, I put on Navy whites and cross-commissioned into the Navy and did my service there.
SPEAKER_01:I absolutely love it. I think sometimes that we think we're going to go down one road and then life takes us into another road. And then we think to ourselves, well, maybe that was meant to be that I was supposed to be down this new road. That's what happened to me in my last duty station. I thought I was going to go to Pensacola. It did not turn out, but thank God it didn't because I found this beautiful slice of paradise uh here on the Gulf Coast, and everything worked out the way it was supposed to. And it sounds like that's what happened with the Navy. What did you decide to do while you were in the Navy?
SPEAKER_02:So um I still wanted to be kind of at the tip of the spear doing something operational. I had an engineering background. Um, I was actually an aerial major at the Air Force Academy. Um, and so kind of translated pretty well to the submarine force. Uh and so I went through the normal training, nuclear training pipeline. I started at Orlando, which is now closed. That always makes you feel old. Uh, went through Orlando, then through Charleston and Groton, uh, and then reported to Nevada Blue up in uh Washington state.
SPEAKER_01:So, why the submarine community? What was it about the submarines that just made you want to do nuclear warfare?
SPEAKER_02:It was really the kind of the engineering aspect of it. At the same time, you get to so you get to deploy your engineering knowledge. At the same time, you're leading individuals, and obviously the the submarine community is full of people much smarter than I am. Um, you're leading enlisted uh crew members, service members who are brilliant in any other field would be doing and they do continue to do amazing things, but some remarkable people, and you get to do a mission that really is you know pretty impressive.
SPEAKER_01:Now, when you were in the submarine community at that point, there were no women in submarines at that time, were there?
SPEAKER_02:No, that's correct. Um, in fact, in my power school class, which was class 9508, uh in Orlando, there had never been women in the nuclear um power uh arena at all. And in the class behind us, we had some of the first women who went through nuclear power. Um, and those all those individuals went on to serve on surface ships. Um, and then obviously we now uh host women and they go through the normal pipeline.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. So that was a while back. And then during this time in your first in uh duty station, where was the point where you met your wife and you started a you started a family and then you started going down a different road?
SPEAKER_02:Sure. So I actually met my wife at the academy, and you so I can um give credit to the Air Force for that. Um, you know, we we kind of had a dual service marriage there for a while. Uh I was going through the, as I mentioned, I was going through the pipeline. Uh, she was kind of going through her Air Force training pipeline at the same time. Um, and I got orders to Washington State to a boomer out of um out of Banger, the banger sub base. And my wife went to her detailer and said, you know, is there a chance I can get up to McCord? And they said, Well, um, if you're married, you can. And we've been talking about it anyways, but that was kind of the kick in the butt we needed to say, okay, it's time. So um we got married uh right. I literally I graduated from subschool, and the next day I got married, and two weeks later, um I was making my way to Washington State. I did a normal sea duty tour uh out of off of Nevada. Um happened to go, we went back to DC. We were able to be uh stationed in DC together. I was at the Navy Yard, and my wife was down at Andrews. Uh, and then our daughter, Kate, was born in uh November of 2002. And that kind of that's another journey, right? That's that's the next part of this journey.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So tell me a little bit about what happened once your daughter was born and how that changed the trajectory of your naval career.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it was uh it was pretty dramatic, right? We uh we were Kate was born at Bethesda Naval Medical Center, which is now known as Walter Reed. I'll probably always call it Bethesda. Both our kids were born there. Um and she was born with what is called hydrocephalus, um, pretty severe uh situation. Uh they weren't honestly um really sure that she would survive. Um and we were I remember being in the NICU. Uh we actually stayed in the Fisher house in Bethesda for a number of weeks while she was in the NICU. Uh and it became apparent because of her condition uh that one of us probably needed to get out. I was on track to go to SOAC. Um, if you know, if I had stayed in, I was probably going to a fast attack. You know, our deployment schedule uh many times in that particular part of the community. You know, boomers are fairly um, you know what the schedule roughly is, but fast attacks, you're you could be gone 75% of the year. And at the time, um, we felt like Renee's Kerrifield in the Air Force was more conducive um to us being able to make sure that we were able to take care of Kate. Um so that was it. I had uh, you know, I made the decision to get out based on that. Um, you know, it's kind of uh, you know, you take all the little pieces and parts and you try to make the best decision you can at the time. Um, I got out and I became her full-time uh care manager or case manager.
SPEAKER_01:Why was the Air Force better medically for her special needs?
SPEAKER_02:So it wasn't better medically, it was better based off the deployment schedule. Right? So we anticipated, and she reminded what this was, you know, this is really just as the buildup was starting to happen. We didn't know what was coming. Um, and so we can only base our decision on what was historically the true, right? Which we knew the Navy I was going to be deployed all the time. Um, whereas in the Air Force, those deployments don't, or at least historically, it didn't happen as often. Um, she ended up deploying multiple times as part of uh uh the War on Terror. But at the time we thought that was the best decision for us. And so that's the way we went.
SPEAKER_01:It's a it's a rare decision, Jeremy, especially in in this day and age, even with the military. There we have more and more military spouses, but having been married twice uh in the military to civilian spouses, I can tell you that my husband is still an anomaly with being me being the primary breadwinner and her being, I mean, and and me being the one who had the career. When you decided to take this step back, did you were you concerned about societal expectations or any of those other stupidity things that that I know now are just so dumb? But back in the day, I I definitely felt when I was younger that that might be concerning.
SPEAKER_02:I don't really think so. I mean, for me at least, I mean, our daughter's situation was pretty dire. Um, there wasn't it, I did not feel that way. I mean, and really, I, you know, I went from kind of one mission to another mission. Um, and that at least personally helped me, you know, focus on what I needed to accomplish. You know, okay, I had a Navy mission, and now my daughter was my mission. And that was my focus. And it was, it was a full-time job, right? Like it was constant surgeries, constant therapy, constant coordination. Uh, and I was doing this while my wife was deployed, while we were PCSing, um, while she was going TDY, just like every other military spouse. But for a lot of our EFMP families, you have that, you're doing all the normal military stuff, but you have that layer of complex medical needs that adds I would suggest a fair amount of stress to the situation. But, you know, I I'll I'll say this for my military background. It I think it served our family well because it prepared me for the shit that, you know, pardon my French that we live we lived through for a number of years and and had to. And so it was uh it was an interesting time. I'll say it was fairly traumatic at times, um, but we got through it and um, you know, I think we're better for it. And I hope um I'm able to take some of the lessons I've had and make a difference for other folks.
SPEAKER_01:So the exceptional military family member program, let's talk about that for a little bit. I want to center in on that. That my understanding of that program is that it gives you the ability, if you have a child with special needs, to get somewhat preferential treatment or able to go to the hospitals or be stationed at the places where your child can receive the best possible care. Is that a good explanation?
SPEAKER_02:Well, and let me just expand on the definition a little bit, right? Because I think it's important to remember that we have um a number of spouses, right, who fall within the EFMP program for a variety of reasons as well. So it's all dependents, um, sometimes parents, even, but usually it's your most focus is obviously on kids and spouses. You know, a spouse can have a cancer treatment or a cancer diagnosis that they can only receive treatment at X, Y, and Z place. And you don't want to send them overseas if they can't get continue with their chemo, right? Um, obviously, our situation was primarily for our daughter. Uh, generally speaking, um, there has been a lot of changes in the program over the years, but that is the at its core, what it's meant to do, right? Is you're you don't want to send a family from um, say, Montgomery to Lackland if if the care isn't going to be available for whatever their particular issue is. Um, I will say if you look at the kind of the breadth of diagnosis involved in the exceptional family member program, it's pretty wide. You know, we think about 10%, roughly 9 to 10% of the force is actually enrolled in the FMP. We also know that there's probably another 10% of people who should be enrolled who aren't enrolled for a variety of reasons that we can we can discuss. Um, because you know, you're talking about individuals on as conditions as serious as being on a trach and being you know oxygen-dependent for that reason to children with allergies. That's a pretty wide swath of the population, right? And so we always try to make sure people, or I try to make sure people understand that this is a this is not this is a relatively large percentage of the military population as some sort of diagnosis that fits within that that criteria.
SPEAKER_01:Do you think it's too wide then? Because then it's it's always a balancing act of the needs of the military and the places where we need to get people, and then where our people need to have the best possible care for their families.
SPEAKER_02:It's a tough, tough uh conversation to have, right? Um because it's it is a balance, and we've had situations where individuals with something simple, and I don't I don't think anything simple, but as an allergy, get stationed at another location. And you wouldn't think like that allergy was an impactful thing, but they go to a place, there's people with allergies to cold. You know, there's people with allergies to X, Y, and Z, and they go to go to you know another duty station, and all of a sudden, because of that medical condition, they have to move to some other place, right? And that's an expensive, that's an ex you know how expensive moving is, right? Absolutely every time the government moves us, we're talking tens of thousands of dollars. And so it's it's a I think there maybe should need to be like tier system, right? Where you get certain levels of care or you get the opportunities to do different ways on a tier system. You know, we can talk about this too. I think there are policy changes that make sense to your point about who you include and how you treat them and how you work with them. Um, but to date, those kinds of ideas are still kind of out there and we're still working through those.
SPEAKER_01:You've been at this for for so many years. Over the years that you have seen the exceptional uh family member program or some of the ways the military helps those who have dependents with special needs. Have you seen a have you seen the programs get better? Have you seen the programs get worse? Have you seen them stay the same?
SPEAKER_02:So I think each of the services does it a little bit differently. And this is kind of one of the issues that we've historically talked about. Um, you know, standardization, the idea that you're supposed to get the same treatment, regardless if you're an airman or sailor or soldier, whatever. Um, that's something we've been working towards for years. Uh you'll go, you can go back and watch testimony in 2020 from Michelle Norman or Austin Kerrig about, and that that led into what is called now standardization. Uh they they wrote a new DOD or Department of Defense Instruction, focused on that. It still really hasn't happened the way I think it should. Um, we've got some work to do, uh, continue to do in this field. There's a lot of lot of things that we I think we can do to get there. I think things are probably better in some ways, in other ways, they have not improved. Um, there's just different different aspects of the program.
SPEAKER_01:Right, right. Yeah, it's such a tough issue uh to contend with. What made you decide to go from being an advocate for your daughter to looking at some of these other bigger issues? Because you could have just been busy full-time just advocating for her. How did you make that leap from, okay, this is not just about my daughter, this is about a bigger problem within the military?
SPEAKER_02:No, it's a great question, Teresa. Um, so we had a period of time between about 2004 and 2007, where we ended up moving five different times. And we had, you know, two deployments, um, two PCS. I can't remember the there's five moves in there. It was it was the craziest time of my life because for our families, every time you land someplace new, you are rebuilding your child or your your spouse's entire case, you know, all the different specialists, all the different therapies, the schools, everything. And so I did that those five times over that short period of time. I said, Okay, something's not working. This isn't this is not working the way it's supposed to be. And our last duty station, after all those different changes, uh, happened to be in DC. And my wife went to work at the Pentagon, like many do. Um, and she happened to be working in an office with a a general who cared deeply about trying to fix some of these programs. Um, and I read that AFI, the Air Force instruction at the time, right, that said, okay, here's the way the Air Force is supposed to execute this program within the Air Force. And I read down, I'm like, no, they don't do that. They don't do that. I mean, you know, it was wow. And I so I wrote it up. I filed the DOD IG complaint, right? And it didn't hurt who my wife worked for at the time. Um, he kind of fast tracked that. Um, and they substantiated our complaint.
SPEAKER_01:Wonderful.
SPEAKER_02:Pretty rare, right?
SPEAKER_01:I mean, the IG system isn't like one percent of complaints get substantiated, I heard, or something crazy.
SPEAKER_02:I think we were to happen to be the right place, right time. It didn't hurt that the three-star my wife was working for, his exec at the time was a major who was in EFMP. And that three-star, because the the major was having trouble with the EFMP system at Andrews, the three-star called up the EFMP person over at Andrews, and that coordinator at the time blew off the three-star. Right? That doesn't normally happen. And so when we kind of heard about this through the grapevine, and then they heard what I was trying to accomplish, they were like, all right, we're gonna try to fix this program. And so part of that, um, the answer to part of that problem, uh, probably the what the IG has substantiated was to hire additional individuals, at least within the Air Force, to support our families. Now, whether that's been successful or not, it's a whole nother story. But that's that has led me to kind of where my journey, you know, kind of kicked off. And I thought, well, okay, you know, I did that, and I think we were successful. I certainly thought so at the time. And I said, okay, if that we've got work to do, how can we continue this type of work? Um, and I started connecting with other folks, other families, uh, did a lot of did some pill work. You mentioned the Tri Care for Kids group we started. Um, and then one thing kind of led to another, and uh all of a sudden it's you know, it's been 15 or 20 years.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that your timeline makes total sense to me because I would say that you and I became acquainted with each other about 2008, 2009, and that's when I got active with the Boxer Club of Hawaii. And from there, I learned about the abhorrent breeding conditions in USDA regulated facilities. And I also learned that the military had a terrible reputation in Hawaii of dumping their pets off onto other people when they would leave the island. And so at that point, I created Hawaii Military Pets, which was just an online advocacy organization that wasn't even a nonprofit or a pro for-profit. And I set up booths and tables at pet events, and I learned a lot about policy and advocacy and who's who in the zoo, as you need to know. Like even in your case, you know who the people are in military-family policy. I know who some of the players are in the military justice system, which is a big push that I've taken on most recently. So tell me a little bit about that journey because a lot of people don't understand that as advocates, it's really not about you or your cause. It is about coalition building. And tell me a little bit about those early steps that you took back in 2009, 2010 to start to build that coalition.
SPEAKER_02:Well, really, um, I learned from others, right? I was a newbie. I'd never thought to go up to the hill. I'd never, you know, said, okay, I can go advocate that way. Um, I remember it was uh Karen Driscoll, uh, who was a fellow EFMP mom, um, who brought me to some of my very first meetings on the Hill as we were advocating very specifically for military families, uh, military children with autism, which is one of my daughter's diagnoses. Um, and Scott Campbell also, uh, he's another, he's a retired lieutenant colonel in the DC area. Um, you know, you have to kind of find a mentor in that space who's willing to help you. I got involved with uh MOA, Military Officers Association of America, uh National Military Family Association, again, to your point, kind of learning who are the people in the space that can influence and make change or help you make change. And then to some degree, you know, based on our lived experiences as well as what you you get into and you learn um all the pieces and parts of what does policy look like? You know, what is US code, what is what are the CFR, what is Code of Federal Regulations, how does this work internally to the Pentagon? Um, how do we make change? Who are those people in the Pentagon that own these programs? Um, what are what are what do they care about? All those pieces and parts. Um, it becomes fairly complicated. Uh, you know, I I won't say I'm not I was not a lobbyist, I was more of an I was an advocate, um, but you do lobbyist type stuff. Um, that that helped me later on in some of my other jobs, but uh I would suggest it's fairly complicated. And um, but you you have to show up. You know, being on the hill matters quite a bit. You have to be willing to take those meetings. Um, it just so happened that you know the timing was working out for us. This is we have another son who's now almost 16. This was some of this work was being done while my daughter was transitioning into the school system. I was still doing a lot of her therapies and whatnot, but compared to the the first five or six years of her life, things had quieted down a little bit for us. And so I had um some time to kind of pay back the system. I felt like, and this goes back to what I was saying about Travis Manning, right? Like you've you know, you're doing this not only for your child, you're also doing this for all the other families that are like yours. And in these situations, um, if you can't help other people, I mean what's the point, right? And if you can help other people because of what you've learned, uh to me that's what it's all about.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's about paying back what you were taught because you had good mentors when you came into this space who taught you the ropes and taught you how to advocate. I can say the same thing for me. I had Inga Gibson, who was a lobbyist in Hawaii, and she was amazing. She would bring me to all her state testimonies when different committees would meet. I even got to go to a city council meeting on, I remember it was on pig hunting, and I learned so much. I went to their lobby day for the uh Humane Society of the United States because at that time she was the Hawaii state director for the Humane Society of the United States. I learned about the Hawaiian Humane Society, and sometimes the Hawaiian Humane Society didn't always get along with HSUS, but they kind of needed each other at the same time. So you sort of learn about, I wouldn't call it infighting because it's not, it's all geared towards the same goal, but everybody has different strategies on how they get to those goals. So you have to learn that. You have to learn which groups play well with one another, which ones have a little bit of differences and how they go through those things. I mean, it's just you normally in the course of normal human behavior, we all have the hows. And even if our whys are the same, our hows can be different. And sometimes we allow ourselves to get boggled down in the differences of our hows instead of just going back to the fact that we all have the same whys, like why we got involved in this and why this cause is important to us.
SPEAKER_02:No, I like all of that. I happened to be able to uh go to the MOA Total Force Plus conference last week. That's awesome. Um, and it was it was great. Uh, they did an awesome job. Um, and I loved it because it was focused on people and bringing people together. Because you're exactly right. There are in that MSO VSO space, right? Sometimes there's a little bit of conflict. Um, but I felt like they did a very good job of saying, okay, at the end of the day, what do we care about? We care about people and we care about taking care of them and what that looks like. Um, and we have to figure out solutions at the end of the day, regardless of you know, to your point of how we get there.
SPEAKER_01:Right. It doesn't matter who likes who. And I can work with people that I don't particularly care for if I understand that they're acting in good faith, I'm acting in good faith, and we can still work together and move in a positive direction. So it was wonderful to see all your MOA pictures. Mandy Feint was there, uh, another friend of well, classmate and I think future friend Megan Crawley was there, rally rather. And it was great to see all the pictures. I had a little bit of FOBO, and so I think at some point I would love to join that conference. And I've seen a lot of different uh content creator or or military organization or VSOs having these conventions. Uh MCON just had one military influencer conference, and I think I just saw a new one pop up in Texas. So I think this is great. Like we should, like you said, Jeremy, show up, meet each other, talk face to face, have conversations. I was just listening to a podcast last night with a governor. It was on For Veterans for All Voters, it was their town hall for the month. And they were talking about how the best way to convince somebody of policy is just to have a conversation, preferably face to face.
SPEAKER_02:With a cup of coffee. It usually works pretty well.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Eve, I think that can solve so much if we just take a time to listen to each other and understand where another party's coming from, even if our values are a little different, even if we believe something a little bit different. I think that can just really, really move the needle. So as you went down this journey, you listened to your mentors, you started to see this bigger picture and wanted to give it back and also advocate from your lived experiences. Can you tell me a little bit about some of the because I think we have to celebrate those tiny wins. So you had that first initial win that got you into this to begin with. And I understand how that is. I've had the same thing when I got a governor to uh sponsor a military working dog bill. That was like, oh my God, I can't believe I was part of a coalition that did that, or or got the uh city of national city to pass a uh ordinance to ban the sale of pets at pet stores unless they came from nonprofits. So I get it that those are those those early wins that you're part of that you are in a coalition, and this coalition manages to make a win. It's so fulfilling. So tell us a little bit, Jeremy, about as you started in the journey, what were some of those wins that you had?
SPEAKER_02:Um, you know, there's been several. Uh one that comes to mind uh that was part of the Tri Care for Kids coalition win, so to speak, was I don't want to get into the nitty-gritty, but hospice care for military children. So you're talking about children who are most likely terminal, but maybe not. Uh the way the law was written before we got it changed was military kids couldn't get appropriate treatment in that setting. And we said we went to DHA and said, all right, all right, this ought to be fixed. This is a no-brainer, right? Right, civilian children get this when they need hospice care or palliative care. Why can't military kids get this? And we're talking probably 400 kids a year. Well, that really matters to those 400 families every year. And when DHA came to us and said, Well, well, we would love to help, but but we can't do anything because this is what the code says. And if you want to get it fixed, you need to get the law change. Okay, well, hell's bells. We're gonna get the law change. And we did. Uh, and subsequently, now the way it works is military kids are can access, can go back and forth with hospice care as needed. Um, and that's a bigger issue with with tri care in general, is that tri care is mostly based around Medicare, where you know, Medicare is for 65-year-olds, right? Well, military children need a different type of care, right? Or any pediatric population needs a different type of care. And that's one of the things that our Tri Care for Kids Coalition continuously, you know, harps on. Um, but there's a good example of one thing in particular where I felt like, all right, we're making a difference. Um, and for those families, you know, obviously in pretty significant uh situations, we hope it it's helped them.
SPEAKER_01:That's awesome. Yeah, we uh for my class, we I think I shared the article, the draft op-ed with you. We've just taken on a tri-care for kids uh issue, I suppose. Where I had no idea that when your children reach a certain age, they age out of the normal TRI-care, and they now have to pay these very exorbitant premiums to continue TRICARE. And that's not on par with what non-military children receive through the Affordable Care Act.
SPEAKER_02:Yep, and that's uh it's a great example of a situation where I think most of the MSOs and probably most of the DSOs are on board fully. Um and it takes time, you know. I I will say legislating is a marathon, it is definitely generally not a sprint, right?
SPEAKER_01:No.
SPEAKER_02:Um, and so you have to be patient and understand that if this leverage point didn't work this year, that's okay. Maybe you got report language in the NDA this particular year. Little steps will build towards success. And just because in one given year you weren't successful, you have to come back to the table again and again, and sometimes again. But usually um individuals are willing to eventually listen. Uh you know, some of our uh Gold Star widows are a great example of that who fought for just so many years in order to get appropriate compensation um after their spouses died. Um but they finally got it, and that just it just took a generation to do. So if you're running, if you're advocating for somebody in the audience is advocating for whatever that looks like, just understand that it might take a hot second and you just have to be patient.
SPEAKER_01:A great example was the uh Big Cat Public Safety Act, and of all things, a a documentary that was exploitive, but that showcased the issue, I believe, was was instrumental to pushing that towards the finish line so that people weren't owning privately owned tigers and other exotic animals that probably shouldn't be in people's backyards. So it sometimes that's what it takes, is it takes those, and and I believe that bill was lingering for 25 years. And that's where you really do have to play the long game, and and that's where the VSOs, like the American Legion, like VFW, like Iraq and Afghanistan, Veterans of America, like MOAA, it's so important to work with those organizations. You may not like everything that they're doing, you may not agree with every single policy that they they stand for, but the the answer is not to turn your back on those organizations, in my opinion. The answer is to work with them and respect that there'll be differences in opinions and approaches. And that's okay because at the end of the day, we need those large organizations. I learned that when I was working with HSUS versus the local humane society or the local nonprofit, uh, you know, no kill quote unquote no kills shelter, is that all organizations play a part. And it behooves you to work with every organization or as many of them as you can, uh, to try to come to some sort of consensus. And it sends a real big message, as we saw recently, with all the VSOs who are now advocating to end the government shutdown and to pay our military troops. I mean, there's really a coalition that that is coming together. I could say the same thing about the VA claims process. We're seeing a coalition of different VSOs and influencers and others who are coming out and talking about the VA claims process and if there needs to be changes to it. And those are the kinds of conversations we need to not be afraid to have within our community.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and I have other examples, right? So uh the 2013 Budget Control Act was a bill that passed bipartisanly, but it cut military retirements um pretty substantially because of the cost of living decrease over time. You know, military spouses and all these MSOs and VSOs came together and really took a stand, um, and that made a difference. I'm pretty proud of the fact that we all worked together and were able to repeal those retirement cuts within about 90 days after the bill passed. I don't really remember anymore, but uh it's another good example. And the PACT Act, the GI Bill. There's lots of examples out there where we're working together. Um to your point, Teresa you know, some of these MSOs GSOs, you bring them to the table, they might have a better idea than yours. So I think you have to really be open to what you come to the table with might not be the best answer. So you have to listen to others, kind of getting pulling from other other individuals' experiences. And some of these folks have spent a lot of time on the hill, they know it's also doable. So you have to be open to others' options.
SPEAKER_01:I agree, Jeremy. In fact, you're bringing up a story that I'll share. I won't I won't say names, but um I'll say it on the podcast. Just recently, I got a little upset at a fellow advocate who partnered with some people or one person that I wasn't particularly fond of. And I at first was very upset about it and then took some time to think about it. And I realized that for the good of his cause, he did the right thing. I mean, he he knew what he was doing. He knew that sometimes you've got to partner with people that you don't agree with or that you might not be aligned with on all issues. And to his credit, it I believe it will pay off in dividends and it will really help his cause and it will push this issue forward. And I didn't see it at the time. Um, but after about a month or so, I thought it through. And at first I told him, you know, I don't know if we can talk anymore. You know, I was that upset about it. But then I said, gosh, that didn't last long because I mean I really want to work with him. And he's got a lot of great ideas on how to solve some of these really bad problems within our community.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and I think you know, a lot of that is wisdom and humility. Humility to admit, you know, I might have made a mistake, and I I have made lots of mistakes, and you're going to make mistakes. There's no getting around that. You're human, right?
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but being humble enough to realize that and sometimes ask for forgiveness when things didn't go the way you thought they would should go. Um, and be willing to move on and put some things, not everything, can't put everything behind you, but but I would suggest most things you can put behind you for the better good, for the greater good.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And that's more healing for you and more peace of mind just in your day-to-day life. So paint me a little bit of a picture about what how things matured in your advocacy journey, because we've kind of started, talked about some of those early wins, and we talked about where things went working with coalitions. But tell me about how it matured over the years. I mean, now you're at this 15-year, 20-year mark that you've been doing this. So tell me a little bit about how it how it got stronger.
SPEAKER_02:Well, so interesting stories. And this is uh I know we don't have tons of time, so I'll I'll try to make this brief. You know, my wife was getting towards the end of her career. Our last duty station was here, uh, we're down in New Broncos, Texas. Her last duty station was in at Randolph. Um, and I had been looking in DC. I, you know, I got my master's degree, uh, I was looking for a job. I was like a lot of military spouses. I must have applied for 200 jobs, got a number of interviews, but just couldn't get hired. Uh, and I was we we had to make the decision, okay, do we take this PCS and go down to San Antonio? I was gonna stay in DC if I if I if we could have found me a job, but we didn't. So we moved on to San Antonio. I got um, I was lucky enough to be accepted into what's called the Presidential Management Fellowship Program. And I was able to turn that into a position at what is called uh the Air Force Personnel Center. Um you kind of you know advocate on the outside looks a lot different than as a GS civilian. You have different criteria, you have different capabilities, and so it was really an interesting switch to be on the outside poking the bear to be on the inside seeing some of the difficulties in which these GS employees exist and try to get things done, you know, and that that runs again just like in the civilian world. Um, so I worked there at AFPC in a number of different airmen and family readiness aspects or different jobs. I also went down and I worked at Joint Base San Antonio for a while, um, and then uh I turned that job in, or I was able to get a job at OSD working what you mentioned, the defense state liaison office. Um and in each of those jobs, I did try to bring some of my outside advocacy efforts into that into those roles. And I won't lie, I definitely got lots of sideways looks many times from my from my bosses. They're like, Jeremy, what are you doing? And I'm like, hey, I'm just trying to make a difference, and I think this is a good way to go. And so that was a another balancing act of trying to figure out how do I make change in the gist community. Um, and there's there's lots of people who want to make change, and there's lots of folks who really don't.
SPEAKER_01:No, they're happy, they're they're content right with the status quo. The status quo serves them.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and I just couldn't be that person. Um, it just isn't who I am. Um and uh so I kind of got my hands slapped a couple different times, and that's okay. I I always joke with folks, you know, if you aren't willing to get fired on any given week or get in trouble, you know, you probably aren't pushing the envelope quite enough. Um on and you know, this was all military family stuff, generally speaking, right? Like this is these are my people, these are people I want to help, and by God, I'm gonna do my very best to get there. And sometimes I was successful and sometimes I wasn't, and that's okay, but I sure as heck was gonna try.
SPEAKER_01:And that's the thing about military family. We talked about this before the call. This is a bipartisan issue or should be. I always get upset when I see certain things pigeonholed into a left or a right issue that are not a left or a right issue. Military family sadly sometimes gets pushed to the left like animals do. And then sometimes we see things about war fighters or the SEALs or something else that's always pushed over to the right. And I get really upset about that because in my mind, these are not left and right issues, these are people issues, these are issues that impact all of us, regardless of what our opinions or beliefs or where we sway in our in our in what we think and feel. And that's something that we have to always keep in mind, but you have to be smart and sometimes play the cards that you're dealt. My instructor recently was not very happy with me that I only chose a right-leaning publication to put out a military justice article. And I said to her, I said, if I tried to shop this to a left news art news outlet I did about undue command influence, I don't think that they would have published it. Now, did I try? No. And so, to her credit, uh I said challenge accepted, and I'm going to now do another article. I've I've promised her uh another one because she's a great editor and really provided me a lot of great feedback. And so I'd love the chance to work under her again with feedback. And I'm gonna do what she said. I'm gonna try to shop it to a more left-leaning publication and see if they'll they'll publish my next op-ed. But it's uh it's a challenge to figure that out. But I know you're about to say something, so go ahead.
SPEAKER_02:It's really interesting, right? Um, and I I see the media much like I see legislators in many ways. Uh, the story I tell about military families looks a little bit different when I go into a Republican office or a Democrat office. Because at some point or another, you just have to understand they come from this different perspective. You know, as an advocate, my job is to get whatever I'm trying to accomplish over the finish line. So I have if I have to tell a different story to different people to get their support, that's just what I'm gonna do. Uh is uh regional liaison and the defense state liaison office, right? Same thing. It depends on who you're talking to, the way you tell the story. Same thing with the media. Depending on who you're talking to, you might sell your story in a slightly different way because you know they have a different perspective, and if you're able to tweak it and get your issue out there, well, mission accomplished.
SPEAKER_01:That's really smart, and absolutely that's where you that's where framing comes in, where you say, Okay, I'm gonna frame the article like this, or I'm going to show it in this way. And even the editor uh for uh gosh, I can't uh Real Defense News, he he also framed what I said him differently. He used a different image and he used a different case study to because we had three case studies in there, and it was interesting how he he he made it all about war fighting, which was exactly the base that he was playing it to. And it was fascinating to me to learn how you can pick pieces of a story or a cause, and you you're right, you you have to frame it for that particular audience in a way that they're gonna understand it. But we do the same thing in our day-to-day conversations with people. It's it's no different than doing that for an organization or a media outlet or a legislator.
SPEAKER_02:100%.
SPEAKER_01:So tell me as we're winding down the call, what looks like to be the next iteration of for you and your family. And by the way, how is your family doing now?
SPEAKER_02:Uh so our daughter is uh almost 23. So that was part of uh the part of the reasoning behind me leaving federal service is because she has now exited the public school system. Um, so we have to find a different, you know, a different life for her. We're we're in the middle of trying to sort through that. Um, you know, my wife and I drive probably uh four hours a day, some days, uh taking her to different uh a different location or place where she can kind of get the support she needs. The 16-year-old is is typical. I don't think there is typical anymore after living our lives, but yeah, he's doing great. Um we'll see what happens after he graduates. We're kind of in that he's in high school, so we're gonna stay here until he graduates and then decide what's next. Um, and then my wife is uh loving retirement. She's uh she is a good retiree. I hope that the same can be said for you, Teresa. She has done well in retirement. It didn't hurt that you know, she went from her Air Force mission to now Jeremy is the mission and the kids are the mission. That's a big mission. Like taking care of me is a lot of work. Sorry. It just is. Um, and so you know, and I've also, you know, we're all getting old, right? Um, I'm getting old. Um, so I've had some health issues and trying to sort through that and make sure I take care of myself. Um, but right now um uh I'm working with a company out of Austin uh called PCI P PCSI. Uh I'll drop it in the chat. Um it's a great group led by uh Tony Kukolo, who is you'll appreciate this, he was the former Army uh chief of public affairs in addition to uh doing a number of other you know pretty significant uh leadership opportunities in the Army before he retired. Uh he is he and that team um in Austin is passionate about reforming EFMP. Um so I've kind of I've been working with them uh trying to sort through that. Um we've we obviously at the MOA event we kind of hosted uh a number of different advocates in that space or individuals interested in working in that space. And so we're hopeful moving forward that um in working with DOD to try to figure out what are the best ways to get after this particular issue. And you know, I've you can go on my LinkedIn um and check out some of the articles I've written.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, let me try to see while we're on the uh call on the share screen on my other screen. I'm using a second screen right now, so let's see how this works.
SPEAKER_02:Um I've got lots of uh material out there if you're interested in never understanding pieces and parts of the kind of the military family culture. Um my most recent article is uh kind of a little bit um out there. Uh I I'm advocating that we need to start a political action committee focused on military families. Um, but you can kind of dig through any of these and see that, you know, I definitely have an opinion about lots of different things, but I think they're on the on the road to getting the right. So I'm hopeful that anyone who's interested in these issues will be willing to connect with me on LinkedIn and and continue the conversation.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, Jeremy, your articles are just spot on, well written, easy to understand. And I highly encourage people who are interested in learning more about Jeremy's work that they take a look at some of these, uh, some of these things that he's been writing about. Uh he's just been doing such a good job of make EF EFPM great again. I love it. Make it I mean, really good, catchy, and just um, you know, very, very, very highly respected. I I and that's the thing that really shines through in everything that you do, is that it really shows your passion for this space and the things that you have done in within this space to really draw attention to uh some of the concerns within the military family space. So I I really want to thank you for taking the time to come on the Stories of Service podcast. I will be doing more shows on these kinds of issues, especially like you say, as a retiree, I'm still figuring out where my place is and and how I'm going to give back in this next chapter of life. And thankfully, I I started this podcast uh four years ago and am able to have people on like yourself who can help to educate our military families and our community on things that we need to work on.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and I'll just leave you with a couple of thoughts, right? And I think everyone realizes this, they they talk about it, but we have to execute, you know, the concept behind our military family readiness is part of our national security mission. Um, that sounds like it's a great you know, tagline, but we've got to execute. And I have lots of what I think are good ideas to execute. And now we need, you know, um, I'm gonna pull it up here. Uh, this is from Secretary Heggseth. This is one of the very first comments he made in one of his very first speeches, and so I appreciate it. Uh but we have to, again, uh we get to execute. He says funding one more multi-billion dollar system is not as important as funding the families and the capabilities of our human systems that make it all happen. All right. Message received uh that needs to flow down, uh, that needs to move its way across to the Congress. Uh, we need to find ways to actually fund that. Um, and we need to find ways in the services to make it happen.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. 100%. Put your money where your mouth is. That's what I say. So I love it. All right, Jeremy. Well, thank you so much for joining the Stories of Service podcast. I will go full screen on my end to say goodbye to my audience, and I will meet you backstage. So thank you very much.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you, Tracy.
SPEAKER_01:And thank you to all of you who joined me on this podcast tonight. Next week, I will not be having a podcast, but what I will be having is even more reels from Holly uh Jaeger to talk about the military justice system. So I do highly encourage you to check out that last podcast I did. It was one of my most listened to podcasts of the year, which is not surprising. It was a very tough case to cover. So I encourage you to take a look at that. There will also be a lot of post-production reels and blog from my podcast tonight with Jeremy. And stay tuned for the following week. I think I've got three podcasts coming up. I'm working on putting those together now. But as I always do when we finish these calls, please take care of yourselves. Please take care of each other and enjoy the rest of your day. Bye bye now.